fourth year blues

contemplating the future, as it's what my brain does instead of sleeping..

a) law school: typical choice for me, i suppose, as i've been told i'm "destined" for law school since i was eleven. but do i want it? i don't know. but i'm not convinced i would want to do corporate law...public defender is more my style, but the idea of being an underpaid, overworked, washed up government employee by the age of 30? not so much. either way, lsats in the fall '10? maybe.

b) environmental policy + administration: possible, definitely possible. i've always had a thing for the whole 'green' movement, but only when it has substance...but for a career? it's a solid option, but requires a masters...not that any choice of mine doesn't require graduate work. also, i'm qualified...beyond qualified for the program.

c) high school: it's not my fault, really. when both your parents are teachers, it's inevitable that you're going to have some predisposition toward the vocation. however, to do so means either acquiring 6 geography courses in the next year or coming back for a semester and taking french. on top of that, jobs are scarce (at least in ontario). on the bright side? i have more experience than most undergrads, and am guaranteed three incredible references...but to go back to high school for the rest of my life? uncertain on that regard.

d) journalism: i like to write. i like to research. i love words. but again, a masters, and again, it could end badly - i'm thinking burnt out story chaser who ends up writing the "dear abby" column for the next twenty years...

e) farm: it's a bit ironic, really. the one thing i've sworn i'll never do, is the one thing i cannot get away from. there are ideas, of course, to make it not just a rundown horse farm...but...the amount of capital needed to start something up and make it successful? ridiculous. if it were possible though to make it work...well, i already have the whole thing already planned out...

f) tba: i have too many interests to list here...so i'll save this category for everything not already mentioned.

i wish i could just "let it be". as much as i love the beatles, and i follow that line a lot, i'm still stressing about the decisions ahead. as much as i want school to end, i'm not certain i'm ready to be in fourth year yet. too much to deal with...decide for me?