insomnia sucks, but i'll take it

i have a sleeping problem. i actually do not sleep more than 2-3 hours a night, and it's usually in short, thirty-minute bursts. i don't sleep during the day, because if i take a nap i do not sleep that night at all. how do i survive? perhaps because once a month i go comatose for anywhere from 18-24 hours. literally, i am knocked out for an entire day. i don't move, don't hear anything (even a blaring alarm that would normally have me flying out of bed), and don't wake up. after that, the cycle continues. i've tried teas, sleep therapies, routines, reading, music on/off, solitaire, etc...but nothing works. anyway, there are reasons for this chronic insomnia, but the point of this post is not to describe them...it's to talk about today.

well lately, this sleeping problem has been particularly prevelant, and i can feel one of those major crashes coming on. take last night for example: after giving up on sleep because there was simply too much on my mind, i got up early and went to the farm to ride. when i got back, lo and i went for a pretty decent run outside. awesome. however, when we got back, i felt exhausted, cold, and my head was pounding, so i crawled into bed and lay there huddled under the covers. eventually, i fell asleep.

during this sleep, which would seem so innocent, i had a terrifying nightmare that pretty much the entire campus was trying to break into my house. when i finally arrived on the scene (after being detained by multiple policemen and bystanders trying to hinder my attempts to stop the break in), i ran at them trying to get them to leave. however, turns out they actually wanted me dead, and they were prepared to do so. they pulled out hammers and started beating me to the ground, while everyone i knew stood around and watched...doing nothing. when i woke up, i didn't know where i was and couldn't figure out what had just happened. and then i realized it was a dream.

terrifying. i'm still shook up about it, hence the reasoning behind this post.

and then people wonder why i hate sleep...

dreams are a curse.